Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Mama Guilt

I am currently suffering from a horrible fate most mother have felt at least once in their parenting journey, GUILT!  I wish I could call Caden every hour of every day to ask him how his school day is. I keep checking the clock hoping the hours will pass by quickly just so I can see him walk in that door.  My heart is breaking for him. It is breaking into a million sad hard to swallow pieces.  I never felt like this sending him to his old school, not even his first day.  He wasn't sad when he started there, he was nervous but never sad, not like this.

This move was more then wanting to be outdoors, closer to nature, 4 wheeling, and chickens. It was about not having to struggle to keep up with "The Jones's", it was about a more manageable home and life, so I do not regret moving. I love this house. What I do not love is the sadness, the anger, and the distance I am feeling from my son. I know its temporary and this will be his new normal but until that happens I will sit at home and watch the clock, waiting for him to be home.

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